Well, he doesn’t beat me…

Years ago on Oprah’s show a guest who was massively (spousal) abused was sharing her horrible story. She made a BIG statement that has stuck around with me and lately I have been reminded of it. She said something to the affect of : ”Women need to raise their standard; when you ask a wife how her relationship is and she responds with ‘well, he doesn’t beat me’ does that mean the other things are okay?, Is our standard of a ‘good spouse’ based on if we get a beating or not?”. Standard of living, of how we reason an issue, how we resolve a challenge are so different for each person. I would say our parents have a large role in how we process information now and as adults we then have the responsibility to not repeat a bad cycle of behavior (or decisions, etc). But, this standard thing has been on my mind…in the category of personal choices, marriage, raising children and other endeavors.

I know some things are very much a part of who we are. I often hear words of my mom escape my lips despite the fact that I wish they were the furthest thing from my mind. The media can also play a large role in our mental images of standards of living. I get how hard it can be to become ‘different’. My parents were not a close couple, they did a lot independent of each other. My dad was fine to stay home and read and my mom couldn’t stand to be in the house for long…not sure if the two were related or not. Often my dad was out to sea, he spent many many years under water with the Navy. I think I can count the times I saw them hold hands or show affection. All of those things I work against to try and show my children different images. It’s not always easy to act different despite what my heart feels or thinks.

When I turned 25, I met someone from my current church. I was at a point where I thought I’d give God a shot, after all I had tried many things and can’t say I was seeing my life improve in quality. I actually hung with a few different groups until I met this organization.  One thing that impressed me was the quality of the lives of the people around me. What I discovered was they weren’t prone to being problem free but they had agreed to agree upon God’s Word as the standard. So, regardless of their past it was the WORDs in the Bible they used to determine to go ‘left or right’. Even if the Word isn’t your standard having an agreed upon ‘standard’ is a great way to proceed. Like a job has a set of rules, code of conduct and policy and procedures. It just keeps things nice and sweet. When there is a challenge we have a solution or ‘rule’ book to call the decision.

I like it that I can use the Word and not my upbringing or emotions to dictate how I carry out my life and raise my children. Sure I have my hangups and challenges but I have a TON less than I did last year, 5 years ago and even 13 years ago when I first was introduced to The Way. Every year our life should get sweeter as we learn from the previous years victories and mistakes. God promised us an abundant life, not a problem free life (after all there is a Devil to deal with), but with the accurate knowledge of biblical truths we can actually see RIGHT results.

I suppose this is just a random post, often like the thoughts swirling around in my head. Thanks for giving me a read…I have sort of gotten away from just writing- I miss it-

How do you make decisions? or do you have a fun way to resolve conflict?

Bree

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